“There’s a lot of talk in this country about
the federal deficit. But I think we should talk more about our empathy
deficit—the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes; to see the world through
those who are different from us —the child who’s hungry, the laid-off
steelworker, the immigrant woman cleaning your dorm room.”President Barack Obama
America's Insensitive
Children?
Editors Note: Better title
might be
America' Insensitive Adults
BY JESSICA ALEXANDER
AUGUST 9, 2016
Contrary to popular belief, most people do
care about the welfare of others.
From an evolutionary standpoint, empathy is a
valuable impulse that helps humans survive in groups. In American schools, this
impulse has been lying dormant from a lack of focus. But in Denmark, a nation
that has consistently been voted the happiest place in the world since Richard
Nixon was president, children are taught about empathy from a young age both
inside and outside of school.
Children in the Danish school system
participate in a mandatory national program called Step by Step as early as
preschool. The children are shown pictures of kids who are each exhibiting a
different emotion: sadness, fear, anger, frustration, happiness, and so on. The
students talk about these cards and put into words what the child is sensing,
learning to conceptualize their own and others’ feelings. They learn empathy,
problem-solving, self-control, and how to read facial expressions. An essential
part of the program is that the facilitators and children aren’t judgmental of
the emotions they see; instead, they simply recognize and respect those
sentiments.
Another program, which is increasingly
popular, is called CAT-kit. This program is aimed at improving emotional
awareness and empathy and focuses on how to articulate experiences, thoughts,
feelings, and senses. Tools in the CAT-kit include picture cards of faces;
measuring sticks to gauge intensity of emotions; and pictures of the body, on
which participants can draw the physical aspects and location of emotions.
Another tool is called My Circle: Children draw their friends, family members,
professionals, and strangers in different parts of the circle as part of an
exercise on learning to better understand others.
Denmark’s Mary Foundation—named after the
country’s crown princess and soon-to-be queen—has contributed to empathy
training in schools, too. It’s anti-bullying program, which has been
implemented across the country, encourages 3- to 8-year-olds to talk about
bullying and teasing and learn to become more caring toward each other. It has
yielded positive results, and more than 98 percent of teachers say they would
recommend it to other institutions.
Another, less obvious example of empathy training
in Danish schools is in how they subtly and gradually mix children of different
strengths and weaknesses together. Students who are stronger academically are
taught alongside those who are less strong; shier kids with more gregarious
ones; and so on. The goal is for the students to see that everyone has positive
qualities and to support each other in their efforts reach the next level. The
math whiz may be terrible at soccer, and vice versa. This system fosters
collaboration, teamwork, and respect.
Studies show that this system of interactive
teaching involves a steep learning curve. Students who teach others work harder
to understand the material, recall it more precisely, and use it more
effectively. But they also have to try to understand the perspective of other
students so they can help them where they are having trouble. The ability to
explain complicated subject matter to another student is not an easy task, but
it is an invaluable life skill. Research demonstrates that this type of
collaboration and empathy also delivers a deep level of satisfaction and
happiness to kids; interestingly, people’s brains actually register more
satisfaction from cooperating than from winning alone.
Perhaps, then, it is no surprise that empathy
is one of the single most important factors in fostering successful leaders,
entrepreneurs, managers, and businesses. It reduces bullying, increases one’s
capacity to forgive, and greatly improves relationships and social
connectedness. Empathy enhances the quality of meaningful relationships, which
research suggests is one of the most important factors in a person’s sense of
well being. Research also suggests that empathetic teenagers tend to be more
successful because they are more purpose-driven than their more narcissistic
counterparts. And if you think about it, it all makes sense. Successful people
don’t operate alone; every human needs the support of others to achieve
positive results in his or her life. Maybe by focusing on actively teaching
empathy to U.S. children as they do in Denmark, America’s schools will make
happier adults in the future.